Do You Embrace Vulnerability?

I was asked that question by my therapist Kristen who added, “I wonder if you realize the importance your own simple presence serves in the lives of others.” She went on: “As you encounter change and uncertainty in the coming weeks and months, perhaps you can lead with the question, what would need to change to embrace or lean into my vulnerability?” Since my October stoke, I know I have been thinking more about my own vulnerability. 

I think people (men especially) can be pretty uncomfortable when you talk about a concept like vulnerability. It may lead to insecurity and the inability to inspire the confidence of others. But in her book Dare to Lead, author and public speaker Brené Brown describes the deep connection between courage and vulnerability, adding that daring leaders who live their values “are never silent about hard things.” 

Being effective at vulnerability starts by digging deep within yourself to better understand your emotions and thought processes. Sharing with others can follow from working to better understand yourself. I found these relevant passages in our new book Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times: 

·       Are courage, curiosity, vulnerability, empathy, and authenticity on your list of important values? These are very helpful in braver conversations as we adopt a mindset of striving to stay open to other viewpoints and treating people with kindness and respect—even if we disagree with their opinions. Even the best among us struggle to consistently embrace these values.

 ·       Acting with humility is important even if it seems out of fashion in these “us versus them” times. Vulnerability is closely related to humility but may put us at increased risk of being talked down to and possibly even feeling humiliated ourselves. 

This is tough stuff, but it is important to consider ways to increase empathy, authenticity, and vulnerability in daily life. We each have an extraordinary opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives, including our own. Don’t underestimate your impact!