While there are many challenges in our country, I believe the most fundamental is the decline in kindness, respect, humility, and decency in how we treat others. Much of it is related to politics, but not exclusively. Expressing hatred toward others has become increasingly acceptable, threatening the well-being of Americans and the future of our special country.
Read MoreShould we totally avoid disagreement and conflict? Of course not! But we need to distinguish between conflict that is necessary and constructive as opposed to conflict that is unhealthy and destructive. In healthy conflict, we value others and believe they are worthy despite differences of opinion on politics or other issues.
Read MoreLoving your enemies (or at least treating them with dignity and respect) seems quaint in these challenging times. I worry that we are teaching our children that hate is perfectly OK. I wonder how this will filter down to the future generations who will lead our special country. We all need to do better as leaders and role models.
Read MoreI was asked that question by my therapist Kristen who added, “I wonder if you realize the importance your own simple presence serves in the lives of others.” She went on: “As you encounter change and uncertainty in the coming weeks and months, perhaps you can lead with the question, what would need to change to embrace or lean into my vulnerability?” Since my October stroke, I know I have been thinking more about my own vulnerability.
Read MoreOn New Year’s Day, I received an unexpected phone call asking me to share a few words at the celebration of life for Rev. Bob Brown, one of the most incredible and gracious people I have known, a truly amazing human being and model for my life. Who are people that touched your life in a positive, meaningful way? Take some time to reflect on what you learned and consider what maybe you could do better.
Read MoreYou might dread seeing someone at an upcoming family gathering, but there are ways to positively engage when there is an elephant (or donkey) in the room. For example, if Uncle Fred makes a dig about how you voted as you are swallowing a mouthful of turkey and cranberry sauce, you could say, “I know we disagree about politics, but family is so important to me and I don’t want to see politics get in the way of our relationship.”
Read MoreI failed to send my October “Insight” – the first missed month since back in 2018. I had a stroke and spent two nights in the hospital. I was incredibly lucky with quick, skilled help and relatively minor symptoms. I work at staying healthy, but so did my brother David who died from cancer at age 71. This will be an ongoing journey as I slow down a bit to balance restorative and depleting tasks, while also pushing myself – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Read MoreThe murder of Charlie Kirk came one day after the release of our new book Beyond the Politics of Contempt: Practical Steps to Build Positive Relationships in Divided Times. Sadly, this is the nation’s latest episode of political violence. But the potential for violence goes way beyond politics, including aggressive drivers giving people the finger on the highway, situations that can lead to road rage. Another example is violence in medical settings.
Read MoreDo you speak with disdain about “those people” on the other side of politics or with whom you disagree? If so, is this impacting your personal health and relationships? We remember television’s Mr. Fred Rogers telling children to be kind to one another, but many think it is perfectly OK these days to demean or even threaten other people. We need to do better in the spirit of these words from Tenzin Gyatso: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
Read MoreThese are difficult times in our country with wide-ranging polarization and distrust of others.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “No one cares what you know until they know that you care!” Finding ways to connect with others can create light and grace. People are hungry for something better, and we can each model a better way. Ongoing self-reflection can be coupled with a commitment to personal development and relationship building.
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